October 2004

Well, now that we have some GOOD memories of dad posted I will begin the story of when all of our lives changed FOREVER!

It was late October 2004 when I received the phone call. Leading up to this phone call, my mom and I had not been speaking for a few months over an argument we had. It was an awkward moment. . . .and I can vividly remember my mom saying, "Can we just let bygones be bygones". She went on to tell me the incredibly scary news that they thought dad had cancer. My dad was the healthiest person you would ever meet- - -he couldn't have cancer! Everything that had previously kept my mom and I from speaking for months was GONE- - -it didn't matter- - -it was soooo trivial!! I was in SHOCK and my mom needed me!!

Dad was pretty sick by this point. The tumor in his abdomen was HUGE and it was blocking the tubes leading out of his kidneys which was causing serious fluid retention and kidney failure. They were going to have to do surgery to put stints in his kidneys to get his kidneys functioning again. I immediately called Jeff and told him we needed to figure out a way to get to Indiana ASAP!!

I started packing, Jeff figured out what he needed to do to leave town and we headed to Indiana- - -that very night. I remember being on the internet in the van ON THE WAY there researching everything I could about cancer - - and especially what we thought dad had, which was either kidney cancer or lymphoma. I contacted Cancer Treatment Centers of America and was really impressed with their staff and hospital. They answered a ton of questions that I had and were very helpful. I wanted dad to go to this hospital. However, he had to get through "lots of other stuff" before he would even be well enough to go- - -it was in Chicago.

This was the beginning of my education on cancer and treatments and throughout the course of the next 16 months, I was referred to as "Web M.D." Some doctors were irritated by my knowledge and my questions and others were quite impressed. I learned that doctors only tell you as much as you are able to ask about. They hide a lot of information if 1. they don't think you will understand 2. you don't ask a lot of questions 3. they are simply lazy and don't care. We ran across all of these types of doctors.

Marci